Monday, May 12, 2008

Hear No Evil-Speak No Evil-See No Evil

For the first time while shopping I decided to take my camera. Accessories I thought! Today is about accessories, then while at my first stop Pier 1, I seen this and couldn't help but laugh! I am sure the woman behind the counter thought I was insane as I stood there laughing! All I could imagine was how appropriate this would be for Gollum's site! Imagine RMS being a place where nobody could, hear, speak and see no evil! What a concept I thought! Isn't that in fact the idea behind the site and the show originally? Where people could go to get and ask for simple decorating advice without feeling belittled, resented and or envied? The idea is wonderful, get ideas, show ideas and share! The opportunity of course of anything on the web always offers the chance to also make friends, and many have done just that! You have everything from gardening to contemporary, to even the sharing of pets among friends! Does this bother me? No, because if I am not interested or just because someone is posting something that may not interest me, it's a simple click to move on by~~~so why is that so difficult for some? I have often posted for ideas and very specifically asked for it and have also posted to share something I was proud of~~and that doesn't mean I want advice. So the question is how do you post without getting unwanted advice? can't! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and what may seem hideous to one may be beautiful to another, so then who is right and who is wrong? NOBODY! What a boring life it would be if we all had the exact same taste! Seriously wouldn't it be kind of creepy sort of like " The Stepford Wives" club? The funny thing is that being unique on RMS is actually well not usually accepted? Why I ask myself? I think it goes back to simple media pull and push! The Crate and Barrels and the Pier1's of the world sort of dictate what is "in" and what is "out"! Decorating much like music is something generally controlled and dictated by the area you live, the stores you have and the past influences on your life, oh and let's not forget money! People have been down right rude to those which have it and sometimes the opposite is true, people admire and relish in what is available to those which have it! BUT, the simple and most obvious truth to me at least is that regardless of cost, place, time etc... good design is good design! Good design incorporates, color, texture, stripes, solids, prints, and so many other elements. So what if I don't like the proverbial "roosters" that's my personal preference, but that is not to say I am unable to look at a space with those elements and not enjoy the design elements where they were used! Learning is all about seeing different elements of design and how they are incorporated into a space! It's about giving "helpful" suggestions without being hurtful, it's about learning to appreciate the hours of labor that went into a project regardless of whether or not it's your taste! There are thousands of designers and hundreds which will tell you perhaps they weren't chosen for a project, does that make them any less worthy? Not at all it's a simple personal choice! So before you make a comment, before you give advice, it's simple, be nice! Not hearing, or seeing or speaking evil would surely make RMS a nicer place for all to visit! French;)


twintoo10292 said...

What you said is so true. Some people have spoiled that site. I guess we shouldn't let the bullies win but I don't enjoy RMS like I did in the beginning. I go on about 15 minutes at a time and rarely comment. To me it has become so "high school" and lost its purpose. What started out as a great space for all "decorators" has become depressing and catty. Women should support and encourage one another. I first heard about Home Goods from RMS and found one 45 minutes from my home. It has become my new favorite store. I'm glad I got that much from it.

I can't say I came away making any friends from the site but some people must have clicked more than others and that is okay by me. Some that leave nasty messages may feel they weren't included in that "girlfiend group" and maybe that is why they are mean, I'm not sure. I wish RMS would some how clean up and become what it was meant to be so we could all enjoy it once again. I have become a big fan of's a kinder gentler space. Twin

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa, Love what you wrote! No chickens here either. Can't wait to see your bedroom. Post it soon, okay? Carol

Deb said...

Hi Lisa, great post. I pulled out of there when I started blogging never to return. I didn't need anyone dictating how my home should be, because it should be how my family and myself enjoys it. I stopped in there about 2 weeks ago and it was a shame what was going on over there. People crying about being down rated, and fighting with each other it was like a bar room brawl, a real mess. I thought this is just down right ridiculous and I haven't been back since. It's not my type of environment, nor do I want to be involved in such a behavior. I hope you're doing well and that you're have a great start to your day. Deb

French said...

Twin~~I always love to hear from you! Thanks for dropping in to my little corner of the internet!French;)

PAT said...

Good morning.

When I began blogging, it didn't take long for me to figure out, I should take my camera everywhere. I've taken photos of just about anything, including lunch on the table. We stopped at a little town festival last year. Sitting in a wine garden, I took a photo of the town brochure, with my glass of wine and J's glass of beer. I overheard a man say to his wife, look at that woman, she's taking pictures of that stuff on the table!! She shushed him..I wonder if she was a blogger and knew what was up!!;-)

I've been reading your comments at Gollum's and this morning I stopped by here, via Deb's.

I mentioned on Gollum's I was sort of an irregular at RMS. Due to time constraints, I didn't feel I had enough time to devote to doing it right, as far as visiting others, etc. So I pulled my rooms off, for now.

I have two blogs, I'd love for you to visit. One is dedicated to my photography hobby. I just began that blog, last week. The other blog has almost 200 posts, I began that one in March 2007. You will find them on my profile by clicking my name on this comment.

Hope you come by for a visit!

twintoo10292 said...

I was thinking this morning, as much as RMS isn't what it use to be it really was a God sent. I see how people had perfectly good spaces but after viewing others and exchanging ideas have reposted and made them even better. You and Picket are great examples of that. RMS might have been the stepping stone that got you interested in taking that interior decorating class. Look at what you did not only to your living room and bedroom but your friends whole house! I realized that I too have walked away with so much more knowledge. I look at things differently. For example I had a small cabinet I never cared for and was about to get rid of when I decided to try painting it. I love it now. To look at things for what they can be and not just for what they are is thanks to RMS contributors. I am the type of person that loves changing things in my home-furniture arrangements-forever painting-new curtains (very understanding hubby to my madness!!)and am thankful for what I have learned from RMS. I don't have any rooms posted right now and everyone was kind to me when I posted and my score wasn't low...that isn't why I took my pictures off. It was because of the treatment other posters were getting. I started feeling uncomfortable when reading rude remarks left by others so I left the tree up just for visitors. I have to say I am greatful to RMS for all the inspiration I got from it and will visit now and again. I think it changed my life and many others more than we thought and for that I am greatful. Twin

Tootise said...

absloutely fantastic! I didn't realize you had a blog! I got your comment and clicked on your name....and voila! this is a very nice site you have made yourself. I enjoyed todays edition...and when I have more time...I will come and check some older chapters! rsfu by the way...I love the idea of taking camera shopping! may just have to try that

Anonymous said...

Amen! xoxox Susan

Anonymous said...

French.. No one could have said it better! I agree completely! People like you keep me coming back to RMS.. :) xoxoxox Donna

Scooterblu's Whimsy said...

Amen, Sister! "smiles" ...I couldn't agree with you more on RMS! I got wonderful ideas and met some great people on RMS, but the ones who weren't nice, well I just wasn't thick-skinned enough to stay! And all the drama and cliches were too much for me! I still go back occasionally, but blogland is my home now and I love it! And speaking of inspiration from RMS...I saw your id when I left Picket a comment, so I decided to pop over and check your blog out! When I saw your "tropical room," I remembered you! ...I just love it! I can't tell you the number of times I referred back to that room for ideas and just pleasure to view! You have a wonderful sense of style...even without the roosters! LOL! It's funny, when I saw that room on RMS, I assumed that you were an older lady! You just never know! LOL!

I enjoyed my visit to your blog! Oh, and I am from NC...your neighbor! I am actually on the NC/SC border, on the coast.

Take Care and have a wonderful weekend! ~Rhonda ;)

...RMS ID: southerndecor

Scooterblu's Whimsy said...

Oh, one more thing, I found the cutest cartoon about the monkeys and blogging that would go right along with your statue! It is on my sidebar! Check it out if you get a chance! ~Rhonda

Picket said...

Hey Frenchie!!!!! Ohhhh girl I saw those glorious rooms of your...I almost think I know the beautiful woman that created those rooms...Just a few months ago you were pondering about taking decorating classes and you followed your dream and now this whole new part of you has just blossomed....I know I will forever be thankful that I found RMS..the potential of teaching and inspiration that one site had especially in the beginning...You are one of the true gems to arise from that adventure...I am so proud for you girl..the world awaits you Frenchie..and I know you will not disappoint them..have a beautiful weekend sis!!!!

Rue said...

Hi French :)

Honey, nice is one of the hardest things for most people to be.

Great post ;)

hugs and love,

Anonymous said...

French, I've been visiting RMS for about a year now. I still enjoy it, but have greatly changed the way I view it. I no longer try to look at every space, don't check it every day, pass by a lot of spaces that are cookie cutter kitchens or crate & barrel clones. I'm not saying they're not pretty it's just that they've been done to death and there's nothing new to see.

I almost always check out any 2 star or lower space trying to find what's good about the space that I can compliment. Other viewers seem to have no concept of being "financially differently-abled" or of liking things that are just a little different than other folks. I well remember when cat73 and brady first posted. I was amazed when they posted again and defiantly didn't make any of the changes that had been commanded upon them. I now try never to make suggestions unless the poster has requested them.

RMS has greatly changed the way I see my own spaces. I recently added borders to the top & bottom of my curtains because when I looked at them I "heard" a terse "curtains too short" from an unclickable. I do plan to post a room soon, we'll see just how thick my skin is. . .

Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts. oldhousejunkie

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

Lisa, I love that you put my feelings into words and shared them with the blog world. It's too bad the people on RMS just don't get it. I'm so glad you're here.
Hugs, Terrie

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South Carolina, United States
Never say what if... Just do. Live life without regrets...RN /Author/Interior Decorator