Monday, August 4, 2008

My Mammogram


Well first let me apologize to all my ladies for being absent the last few days.... I have to say I have been rather self-absorbed...so this is how the story goes......

Last November after a regular check-up at the OBGYN, I was told it was yet time again to have a mammogram. I dreaded the thought because the first one was AWFUL! Why was it so awful because it was pre-implants which means I felt as though my chest was being sucked into the machine (no lie) they don't make those machines for breastless women. After talking to a friend she said it was so much easier post implants. So I figured it couldn't be as bad....(yeah right) Oh the pain was nothing and yes it WAS so much easier this time around BUT....sometimes it really sucks being in the medical field. Ok so remember I said the mammogram was due last November? Well it's now August, and about 2 months ago I thought I felt something different in my left breast...

So as I stood in front of the machine waiting for instructions the tech asked me post images of left side "Have you had any problems with your breasts lately?" BIG MISTAKE to ask me the nurse this....I immediately started thinking and quickly replied "NO" why do you ask...she never answered my question.

She then asked me to sit in the changing room but don't get dressed....as I sat for what seemed like eternity she finally came back in and said " I am sorry to keep you waiting but we will have to do some ultrasound pictures because we have noticed some changes".... I felt the lump grow bigger in the back of my throat....as we walked towards another room I blurted out "listen I am a Registered Nurse please tell me what's going on here"!! She said well we see 3 lumps in your left breast and want to look at them closer in case we need to get a biopsy! At this point all I could see was my grandmother....she had been diagnosed with breast cancer in her 40's and had a radical mastectomy, granted this was years ago but her scar went from the middle of her chest to the middle of her back, (left side)! I held the tears back already feeling sorry for myself and asking "why"?? The tech could see I was getting anxious and she was so very kind, but I had to keep my professional face on right? After what seemed like another 30 minutes of scanning she left to have the radiologist read the ultrasound...

I laid there pondering life.......asking why? how do I deal with this? why is this happening to me?? Never in my life have I felt so alone and detached from the world...waiting to hear what a man who I didn't even see was going to tell me about my future? She returned to say that at this time they felt there was no need for a biopsy that the lumps "appeared" to be nothing more than cysts....BUT it was something I was going to have to watch and be careful to notice regularly......

Now understand, I have had cysts surgically removed from my neck, my ovaries, and other places...so my question is WHY? Why hasn't anyone connected the dots and figured out why do all these random cysts keep appearing? And what does it mean for my future?

I am frustrated and confused! Scared but relieved! I honestly don't know how to feel right now! Am I losing my mind?

I leave you with this --please to all my blogging friends do your breast exam today!




Hugs and love to all~~~~Lisa

17 comments:

Donna said...

Oh French Fry! I wish I lived in South Carolina!!! I would be at your door with two large cups of coffee, a few hugs and a readily available shoulder for you to lean on! I am so very releived that you did not need a biopsy! I understand your concern! If you need to talk (I dont care what time it is!!)dont hesitate to call me! I will always make my self available!

Much Love,Hugs,Understanding and Concern!

Sincerely,
BFF, Donna

onlymehere said...

Lisa, I can relate to the anxiety you're feeling. I too have had my share of medical visits. I recently had a biopsy on a lesion on my stomach. It turned out to be two ruptured pyelosebaceous cysts. I get these in the most embarrassing parts of my body and they don't know why. I've had pneumonia now for a week but I'm sure it's not connected. I'll be most interested in hearing the final diagnosis or if they even know why you're getting these. I'll keep you in my prayers bz I know the anxiety/fear can be overwhelming.

Buffie said...

So would I!!! How scary! I'm so sorry you're going through this, even if it turned out to be cysts it's still scary! I'm sure things will be fine but I would certainly want to know more about why you keep getting them.....BIG HUG!

Anonymous said...

French I feel you on this. At the age of 19 I had a fibroadenoma (sp?) removed from my right breast. I have a dark scar that tells the story... but I am more grateful it was nothing. I also have a cyst in my arm and on my leg...I chalk it up to being a lumpy person :o) Seriously though... you are right to advise folks to keep a look out for those things and to get their exams. I wish I was there to give you a big hug...and to check out those South Carolina beaches :o)

Tiffany
"caniquitmyjobanddecorate"

Justine said...

Aw {{{{{{{{{{{{lisa}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry you went through such a scary appearance, but thank goodness the lumps just look like cysts. Will your gynocologist follow up on this to make SURE that's all it is?

I'm horrible at self exams. Everything feels lumpy to me. But, my annual pap appt is this week, so I'll be having my breast exam done then. I had my first mammogram done this past year, but was told I didn't need another until I hit 40.

Justine :o )

Deb said...

Hi Lisa, I'm very happy that you're okay. You know I have the cyst too, but I made a vow to myself, to get my mams on time because it had been almost 2yrs since I'd had my last. Be thankful to God, that it was only a cyst, and treat yourself to something lovely. Have a great day friend. Deb

Bridget said...

((((Lisa)))) I'm so sorry you've had such a trying time. I know how you feel. I've been through two lumpectomies in my life. My first was at 19 and then again at 35. I'm like Tiffany, just lumpy! lol If they cysts grow, they can do needle biopsies so that isn't too bad.
We're all here for you if you need us!
Love ya, Bridget

p.s. I'm glad I had something for you to laugh at!

artis1111 said...

Oh French , I am over do too. I am calling right now!HUGS() Kathy

Kathy said...

Hi French, Sorry to hear you have had such a scary ordeal, (my older sister went through the exact same thing, she said her legs would not work properly when she was called back for a second appt, it turned out to be cysts). I was wondering where you were, I am relieved to hear that they are in fact cysts, but I can also relate to your concern in knowing why these cysts appear, (I have one on my back that get's angry sometimes, in the UK they gave me antiB's but when it happened over here they drained it. ugh). I am so glad you are back, I missed you.
Pls don't worry about venus, no rush at all Frenchie. big hugs, Kathy.

Shelia said...

Hi Lisa, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this and am praying all will be well with you! I hate having breast exams and wait so anxiously until I get the results. It's just scary, but we must all have these exams. I have lots of the little fatty tumors - Lipomas - all over me, especially in my arms and legs and have had a zillion cut out of me. I wonder if that is what you have? A doctor told me after age 50 they would slow down, but I must be putting some kind of unknown fertilizer on them...they keep popping up! Take care and try not to worry!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)

Janet said...

Having been through the last two years of ultrasounds every 6 months to "keep an eye" on my benign cysts in both breasts, I completely understand and empathize with what you are feeling. Thankfully, I have now been declared by my radiologists to be "normal" since my cysts have NOT changed and I do not have to have anymore ultrasounds -- just my regular mammogram. While the every-6-months ultrasounds were inconvenient AND expensive (my insurance just flat sucks) I am so glad that I had them done as the price they cost was nothing compared to the peace of mind I had every time the doctor or the tech said to me "no changes, come back in 6 months." Knowing now what I know, I would urge that you INSIST on regular ultrasounds every 6 months, not just "being watchful." While my doctors may have been overly cautious, sometimes it's good to be overly cautious. As much as I wanted to go hide my head in the sand and ignore those cysts, I did exactly what I was told, did the ultrasounds, and I am so glad that I did. oh, one other thing: I was told that I had three options: biopsy, removal, and every-6-months ultrasounds. It was the radiologist who recommended the latter.

I don't know you except through Suzanne and her blog, but I feel very strongly about this and I feel a deep bond with any woman who has any kind of scare like you went through 'cause I've been there. Please, for your own peace of mind, insist on regular ultrasounds to make sure they ARE indeed cysts and they are not growing or changing in any way. It can't hurt!

Penny said...

I was so relieved to read that you're okay Frenchie girl! What a scare.

I got an email a couple of days ago to not leave water bottles in the car. Something about the plastic leaching bad things into the water that can cause breast cancer. I also won't micro plastic of any type including plastic wrap, but I read on snopes that there isn't any evidence it's bad. Still won't do it. And now I'm only using my cell on speakerphone held 8 inches away. Dang!

Anyway, SO glad you're okay.

Hugs,
Penny

Anonymous said...

Oh my little Frenchfry! I'm so glad that your exam turned out to be no more than a scare. You just need to watch everything that you do. I don't know if you remember or not, but I'm a breast cancer survivor with a really cool $12,000reconstruction. That was 14 years ago.... And you know that I'm absolutley 100% so happy to be here and my life only got better after my pesky little case of cancer. I now realize what life is all about, I'm happy to be here and grateful for everyday that I get with my boys, I GET to do the laundry, and the marketing, and paying the bills, etc. I'm just so happy to BE!!!! Believe me, there are lots of days that I'd rather be with Jesus, but for right now.... Life Is Good! So, that being said, the point I'm trying to make is this. Get your mammograms, do your self-exams every month (are you listening ladies?) and just take good care of yourself! There are lots of worse things in life than being a cancer survivor!!!!! I'll keep you in my prayers and ask for peace of mind for you. It's scary while you're waiting for the "Your okay" and I know how lonely you felt. Wish I could come give you a hug and let you know that everything will be fine. In the meantime, just know how many people love you and want only the best for you! Call me if you need to talk! love~ Carol

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

Lisa, I am sorry you had to go sure a scary experience. But, Now you know to do your self exams. I do mine and I go in for a mamogram every year. I was on estrogen for years. So, I don't miss my exams. I always had a problem with cyst and endometrosis. It's not always fun being a woman. This is a good wake-up call for all of us. Thanks for posting your story!
Hugs, Terrie

Picket said...

Oh Frenchie...I'm sorry you had to go thru such a scare...I know the feeling....but it will be alright. Things like that can scare 10 yrs off of you...I can't stand going for check-ups....I start tensing up and my knees starting playing Dixie..knocking together so bad & I always tell my doctor..I don't think God intend for a woman to be so humiliated! You take care girl...it will be alright.

Justine said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You haven't been visiting me lately! Don't tell me you actually have a life and more important things to do!?

Justine :o )

Janice said...

I really hate that you've been so far away for so long. I know I have had my own health scares and wish you were there. I think that theyll figure out eventually that stress causes cysts, so jump ahead of the medical world and go to your mental happy place (and of course go to your recommended appointments and tests) I'm happy you are okay physically, just hope you are able to relax your mind. Referring to you previous "boredom" blog, just keep saying cysty breast over and over until it loses all meaning (kinda looks like it might end up sounding like crispy bread. If they've given you nothing to require immediate/radical action then try not to have a immediate/radical reaction. I'm glad you're okay. Wish that had've been the first sentence of your blog. The suspense in your post was making me feel illish. I love you--and I hope you know you can call me anytime.xooooox

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Never say what if... Just do. Live life without regrets...RN /Author/Interior Decorator